Sunday, July 10, 2011

Path of Thorns

Dearest Devil's Advocate,

I know you care a lot about me. And I agree that you have what you believe to be my best interest at heart.  I am not angry with you.  There is no ill will between us.  But your words of caution broke my heart and left me a sad mess for the rest of the afternoon.

Things go wrong in the most ideal of situations.  Two people can be perfectly matched for each other and never fit. I have thought about all the many obstacles that block this path. You are quite right. Age difference, distance, culture, religion and family are huge.  Any one of those could stop a relationship cold.  But all of them? Frightening. Relationships have failed for lesser reasons. But you forgot the biggest obstacle; not trying at all.

I could listen to everything you said and give up right now.  Let it go.  I think for an hour or so, I was ready to.  You are so right. How could this possibly work?  How could anything but disaster and heartbreak come of this?  As long as I was willing to lie on the sofa and cry, you were totally right.

But I started to listen beyond your words. I started to think about my friend who is quite happy with a man several years her junior and a completely different religion.  I thought about the couple that had a three year long distance relationship, and will soon be celebrating their 10 year anniversary.  There's one of my new friends, a true cowboy, and his beautiful Asian wife. Not every story has a happy ending.  But there's enough. Even yours is a story of overcoming obstacles to find your happiness.

The words I really started to hear though, were his.  His words, saying that I am someone special.  His words saying that he can't describe how he feels when we talk.  His laughter when I need a little silliness.  And his admonitions when he can tell I haven't eaten.  The words that tells me he understands me; that he accepts who I am.  That despite every obstacle that may lie in the way, we hear each other.

So, Devil's Advocate, I don't know how things will turn out.  There is a lot to overcome.  But the only way that it can't be done, is if I give up right now.  And that's one obstacle that's been pulled down and knit into a scarf.  ;-)

1 comment:

  1. My hubby is White/Jewish and I'm Black/Christian. I'm also 3 years older than him so it's a shame people can use differences as an excuse not to try...